ART NEWS

The UK art world is in shock after it was announced a woman who has never met Damien Hirst - even at a cocktail party - has been nominated for this year's Bachman Turner Overdrive Prize.

Gillian Carnegie has publicly admitted using a brush and paints to produce a picture of some flowers.

Charles Manson, curator of the Tate Gallery in London, said: "We thought portrait painting had disappeared from Britain last year, with the death of Sir Franklin Mint, the renowned illustrator of the Forever Friends birthday card range. We were very surprised to learn Ms Carnegie was still using these traditional techniques, and went helter skelter to get her on board."

Other nominations for this year's BTO Prize include 'Wet Fish Sunday', an installation of time lapse video footage by Darren Twerp, showing the contents of his fridge freezer decomposing after a power cut at his home in Rhyl, North Wales. An audio recording of the artist's mother complaining about the stench is repeatedly played as visitors walk through the gallery.

Grayson Twiglet, the infamous transvestite potter, is also a contender, for his giant ceramic meat safe, containing the severed head of Rachel Whiteread.

Brian Sewell is too old to care.