THAT'S TORN IT

Why is it that nowadays international hotel chains think it's absolutely vital to install a telephone next to the loo?

Do they think communications are so crucial to modern living that stressed guests can't bear to be without them while moving their bowels?

Or is it an insurance company hot line for medical emergencies?

Are lots of guests 'doing an Elvis' and carking it while on the throne? Are pregnant women statistically more prone to giving birth while spending a penny?