UK GOVT LAUNCHES
'BRITISHNESS TEST'
FOR NEW CITIZENS

HM Government Immigration and Nationality Directorate

Test for individuals seeking citizenship of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland etc (half day closing Wednesdays).

Please answer all questions by selecting ONE of the answers a, b or c for each question given below.

Question 1:
You are in Spain on holiday and a German tourist puts his or her towel on your favourite sun lounger while your back is turned.

Do you:
a) Smile graciously and ask them if they are having a pleasant holiday.
b) Form the thumb and forefinger of each hand into an 'O' shape, put them up to your eyes in imitation of a Spitfire pilot's goggles, and shout "Achtung, Achtung Schweinhund".
c) Smack them in the mouth.

Question 2:
You are driving home from a nightclub when you overturn your grandad's Mini Metro car on a deserted road while under the influence of drink or drugs.

Do you:
a) Crawl out of the driver's window and attempt to drag your unconscious friend into the driver's seat so that he will get the blame.
b) Hobble several miles across open fields to your home, report the vehicle stolen, then get your mother to drive you to your girlfriend's house so you can sober up before the police find you.
c) Get aggressive and smack someone in the mouth.