BUSH WHITE HOUSE

DECLARED

DISASTER ZONE

The Bush White House was declared a disaster zone today, after freak winds fuelled by a phenomenon known as 'El Nancy' blew down large sections of the president's legislative timetable.

A White House spokesman said: "A nightmare scenario like El Nancy only hits a Republican presidency once every 22 years.

"We had feared the storm would last 100 hours, but it fizzled almost as quickly as it arrived. It did leave quite a lot of damage, though we hope to repair it in time for peace breaking out in Iraq."