'MAGGIE WORLD'
THEME PARK PLANNED
FOR HONG KONG

The Hong Kong government is to mark the 80th birthday of former British prime minister Margaret Thatcher by announcing plans for a theme park devoted to her life and work.

'Maggie World' will be located on a former industrial estate in Kwun Tong, one of Hong Kong's most sought-after property zones.

The entrance to the park will be an exact replica of gates from a derelict factory in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, with a sign saying "Welcome to the Magic United Kingdom".

Visitors will be greeted by theme park workers dressed as striking miners shouting "kill the bitch" and "scabs" while throwing lumps of rubberised concrete at them.

Other park staff dressed as police and mounted on horseback will then charge the miners calling them filthy names and hitting them about the head with novelty truncheons, or 'night sticks'.

The first ride in the park 'Corner Shop Corner' will feature a short introductory lecture on the value of thrift by a hologram image of Margaret's father, grocer Alfred Roberts.

Visitors will then be set to work for eight hours sorting small round sweets called hundreds and thousands in order of size, before transferring them to large glass jars kept just out of reach of children.

Other attractions will include the Denis Dipper, where park guests drink ten large gin and tonics in quick succession before hurtling down a fun slide shouting insults at the ambassadors of several African countries lined up to greet them at the bottom.

Children will also get the chance to 'Sink the Belgrano' and see a life-size animatronic version of the Iron Lady dampen the edge of a handkerchief and attempt to wipe the birth mark from the head of an animatronic Mikhail Gorbachev.

Each day the park will have a spectacular closing ceremony with millions of dollars of taxpayers' money fired into the air in a gigantic firework display representing the Strategic Defense Initiative or 'Star Wars', while actors dressed as Mrs T and the late President Ronald Reagan waltz into the sunset.

Several other projects, including Brezhnevland and the Junichiro Koizumi Hair Museum are also planned.