A British couple and their Australian skipper had a surprise all-expenses-paid 13-day holiday in Iran after anchoring their yacht off a disputed island in the Arabian Gulf - or should that be Persian Gulf?

It could be the start of an exciting new package tour market through DontExploreIran.com

Itinerary

Day 1: Arrive on Iran Air scheduled flight. Make forced landing at Tehran International Airport with Israeli fighter escort.

Met by plain clothes policeman posing as student guide. Transfer to your hotel, The Bush-Cheney Great Satan International.

Strip-searched. Free time.

Day 2: Morning - Men with beards arrive at hotel room to 'check the plumbing'.

Find hidden miniature video camera inside bedpost.

Afternoon - Don't have walking tour of Tehran. Get chance NOT to talk to local people.

Women left standing in hot sun while men inspect inside of 18th century Imam Mosque.

Evening: Dinner at Camberwell Kebabs, one of Tehran's most prestigious night spots.

Day 3: Morning - tour Acme Heavy Water Definitely No Bombs in Here My Friend factory.

Afternoon - Ladies visit city's famous bazaar and try on black chador so they can utter famous words: "Does my bomb look big in this?"

Gentlemen given tour of suicide bomb belt sweat shop. Elderly craftsmen reveal how they give martyrs that slim, gym-trained look while still packing enough firepower to wipe out a restaurant or wedding party.

Free time. Confined to hotel room.

Day 4: Morning - Watch 'son et lumiere' display by Iranian secret police on bare feet of Iran soccer team after recent failure to qualify for Fifa World Cup 2006.

Afternoon: Arrested by secret police for offering Iranian woman bottle of 'sinful' duty-free hair conditioner.

Evening: Dinner in Evin Prison.

Day 5: Free time in cell.

Day 6: Free time in cell.

Day 7: Free time in cell.

Day 8: Five minute visit from British Embassy official. Delivers two-week old copy of 'Woman's Realm' magazine with tummy control corset photos blacked out, and packet of Ryvita.

Day 9: Free time in cell.

Day 10: National UK newspaper hears of your plight through relatives. British official returns looking grumpy.

Day 11: Presented with large bouquet of flowers by delegation of Iranian MPs.

Attend press conference thanking Iranian hosts for hospitality.

Get f*** out of Dodge.