The British government is facing a major shortage of excuses this winter after failing to stockpile enough to inoculate itself against charges of chronic incompetence.
A total of 14.5 million excuses issued to doctors by the Department of Health have already been used up on old people and those waiting years for minor operations.
Ministers tried to get off the hook by claiming medical staff had given out too many excuses at once, but doctors angrily rejected the claim.
A further 400,000 fibs stockpiled for emergencies have also been consumed by a worried public.
A DoH spokesman said an additional 200,000 white lies had been ordered, but may not arrive until after a White Christmas, when a whole new set of excuses will be needed because lots of old people died from hypothermia in the fifth richest country in the whole world.
posted by Mike Grimes at 8:38 pm
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