'CASTRO STILL NOT DEAD'

- CHAVEZ

Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president, said today there was 'no limit' to the number of times he was willing to be photographed standing next to a track suited Fidel Castro if it helped in his bid to become America's Public Enemy No 1.

Speaking to reporters from outside the Generalisimo Desi Arnaz Jnr Memorial Hospital in Havana, where President Castro is being treated for complications linked to 48 years as a communist dictator, Mr Chavez said: "My brother and comrade the president is not near the end, or even near the beginning of the end. Rather, he is at the end of the beginning. It is a beginning that will end all the cruel rumours, mostly started by me, that he was about to cark it. I know that with the love and support of the Cuban people, he will see the beginning of a new age of 95 minute long live televised speeches on the attainment of agricultural targets set for the latest Five Year Plan.

"President Ahmadinejad of Iran has also passed on his best wishes, and wanted Fidel to know how much he loves the beard."

Nikita Krushchev is 112.