NORTH AND SOUTH

North London

South London

Well done to Catford for keeping the Sarf's average up!

A FOOTIE BORE WRITES.....



.......only 253 drinking days to World Cup 2006.

WORLDWIDE WIND WINDOW

Typhoon 3 warning has just been hoisted in Hong Kong. If it goes to Typhoon 8 it could spoil everyone's Saturday night.

A large piece of tree has just landed on the front terrace. At least the wind won't spoil my hairstyle.

VICTOR SAYSA model, taking cocaine?

OH DEAR

...............the wheels appear to have come off.

LOOKS LIKE ULSTER, BUT ISN'T

(Top Left: Chinese get mad for it; Centre Left: a moon; Bottom Left: a red lantern raised.)

This is a sort of Chinese Christmas - except that they celebrate Christmas as well. The moon features heavily in Chinese celebrations, and this one is the most important new moon outside of Chinese New Year.

It's held on the 18th September because it's the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. Clear? Excellent.

Why they call it Mid-Autumn Festival when it's still 30C outside and the leaves are all on the trees I don't quite know.

Anyway, families get together for meals, and then go to a favourite place - in this case Hung Shing Ye (Picnic Beach) on Lamma, and light lanterns and have a midnight picnic.

And a jolly good thing it is too - apart from their special festival treat, the mooncake. This is a bit like a sweet scotch egg filling inside a sweet pork pie crust, if you can imagine that.

The mooncake tradition is in honour of 14th century Chinese, who used them to pass vital messages around when they were launching a rebellion against Mongol invaders. The Mongols didn't eat mooncakes, and were unaware of the subterfuge.

Frankly, I'm with the Mongols on this one. Mooncakes are pretty ropey, and are frequently offered to long noses such as myself, as gifts. I have a sneaking feeling the Chinese know we can't stand the taste. I now have a fridge full of the buggers.

The first stray dog to come near the house is going to get a REAL treat.

The reason for lighting the lanterns is hilarious yet extraordinarily mundane at the same time, so send me an e-mail if you really want to know.

INVEST NORTHERN IRELAND

.....a warm welcome always guaranteed.

FA UNVEILS

WORLD CUP 2018

VENUES

RIO LAUNCHES

NEW ENGLAND KIT

ASHES VICTORY CELEBRATIONS

YUMMY!

Restaurant owners in Hailin, China, have admitted that high-priced "tiger meat" dishes on their menus were really made from donkey meat seasoned with tiger urine, according to the municipal government.

So that's alright then.