SHOPPERS SEEK

SALVATION OVER

XMAS SHORTAGES

UK homes may have to spend Christmas without Jesus after shops reported a drastic shortage of Redeemer-related material in the run up to the festive season.

Charlie Drake of the British Retail Consortium said: "We already have scares about no turkey and no milk at Christmas. Now it seems families will have to do without Our Lord.

"Parents are going frantic trying to find Jesus. One woman even rode all the way to Bethlehem SavaCentre on a donkey, looking for salvation. Mums and dads know the little children will suffer unto them in a major way if they don't come up with the goods."

Manufacturers in China have promised to step up production of the popular Holy Ghostbusters play set and the 'Hello Mary' range.

But experts fear that without Jesus, Christmas may become merely a pagan mid-winter festival of gluttony and lust.